


A Christmas Ruse

by mizmahlia



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, General Batfam goodness, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 21:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizmahlia/pseuds/mizmahlia
Summary: Tim and Damian inadvertently wind up working together on a Christmas gift for Bruce and it turns out you can fool the World's Greatest Detective, if enough people are in on it.(But you can't fool Alfred.)





	A Christmas Ruse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nautrielle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nautrielle/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, my friend! I hope you enjoy this and it was an absolute pleasure to write!

It was the twenty-third of December and Wayne Manor was alive with activity, even though Alfred was out grocery shopping and Bruce was at the office. Dick had arrived from Bludhaven the day prior to help finish decorating and hadn’t taken off his Santa hat since he’d walked in the door. Jason would be there that evening once he returned to Gotham following a job with the Outlaws. Stephanie was due for dinner tomorrow evening, Cassandra would arrive later today, and Tim was nowhere to be found, though he was definitely home.   
   
Between Dick’s decorating shenanigans, Alfred enlisting their help planning for meals, and last night’s patrol running into the wee hours this morning, Damian was exhausted. Knowing the next few days would be even more chaotic, to say the least, he needed some time to himself. Up to now, each time he tried to spend some time alone, someone found him and asked him to help with something. While it was nice to have family around, he wasn’t used to such a full house for any extended period of time. He needed a place to hide for a few hours, so he wandered into the library with Titus right behind him.

He settled in and was three chapters into his book when the door to the library opened. He sighed and quietly closed the book, preparing to go find another hiding place when Tim entered. But Tim was so engrossed with whatever was on his tablet he didn’t notice Damian as he took a seat on the couch ten feet away from him. Titus raised his head and thumped his tail against the carpet as he watched Tim get comfortable. The sound seemed loud compared to the relative silence in the library and Damian watched in disbelief as Tim continued to frown at his tablet, completely oblivious to their presence. When it was clear Tim wouldn’t be disturbing him with conversation, Damian shrugged and returned to his book.

They sat in silence for nearly an hour before Tim noticed he wasn’t alone. From the corner of his eye, Damian watched him look up from his tablet to stretch his neck. He froze when his saw Titus napping on the floor next to the couch where Damian sat. He put the tablet on the cushion next to him and rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands.

“How long have you been sitting there?”

Damian closed his book with a resigned sigh. At least he’d had an hour to himself.   
   
“I was here before you wandered in.”   
   
Tim’s shoulders slumped and he rested his elbows on his knees, massaging his temples.   
   
“Sorry about that. I was looking for somewhere quiet to work. I’ll leave you alone.”   
   
Damian could easily see how exhausted Tim was. Whatever he was working on had him running on fumes. Based on how pale he was and how dark the shadows beneath his eyes were, Damian guessed he’d been awake for just over two days. His book now forgotten, he shrugged and swung his legs over the edge of the couch.   
   
“It’s no trouble. I just needed some time away from all the chaos downstairs.”   
   
Tim closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.   
   
“Yeah, same here. I’m glad everyone’s home, but it’s hard to adjust to a noisy house.”   
   
Damian nodded. A comfortable silence settled between them and Titus huffed a sigh as he laid his head down again. Tim put the tablet on the floor and laid back, settling into the couch. He stared out the large windows facing the garden before groaning quietly and scrubbing a hand across his face again.   
   
“What were you working on?”   
   
“The last of my Christmas shopping.”   
   
Damian felt his jaw drop.   
   
“Shopping has you that stressed?”   
   
Tim rolled his eyes at what he thought was disdain in Damian’s voice.   
   
“Not all of us are as artistically inclined as you are, so we have to resort to buying gifts.”   
   
“Isn’t that what Christmas lists are for?”   
   
“In theory. But when Bruce says he has everything he needs and not to get him any gifts, it complicates things.”   
   
Damian frowned and bit his lip; he hadn’t really thought about it that way. The sketches and paintings he’d made for everyone this year had taken a while, sure, but they hadn’t been that difficult to make and he'd certainly never stressed about it. The thought of having to actually buy gifts for people sounded like no fun whatsoever. He suddenly understood why Tim was in such a foul mood.   
   
“But if Father told you not to get him anything, why are you worried about it?”   
   
Tim sighed and sat up.   
   
“Because that’s not the point, Damian. Gift-giving is about showing someone you care. While I can appreciate him trying to make it easier on us by telling us all not to buy him anything, I still want to do  _something_ for him.”   
   
Damian reached down to scratch Titus behind the ears.   
   
“It seems like a simple solution. Why don’t you find something to do for him instead of something to buy?”   
   
Tim looked at him and raised an eyebrow.   
   
“Where were you with that advice two days ago?”   
   
“Tt. Like you’d ask  _me_  for help.”   
   
They stared at each other for a moment and Tim’s eyes brightened. There was a mischievous spark there that made Damian a little nervous. He’d picked up his tablet again and started typing.   
   
“If I asked you for help, would you do it?”   
   
He’d never admit it, but Damian was curious. Tim rarely asked anyone for help and the fact Tim had asked was intriguing.   
   
“Yes.”   
   
Tim looked up from his tablet, clearly shocked at the response.   
   
“Really?”   
   
“Yes. Don’t ask me to repeat it or I’ll rescind my offer.”   
   
“Okay. Here’s what I need you to do.”

* * *

Damian had to concede that Tim’s plan was a brilliant one, even if he didn’t think it would be totally successful. All he had to do was keep Father out of the cave and away from his work phone for the evening. That part was easy enough; Father had already agreed to join Damian on an adoption drive at the Gotham Humane Society that evening, so there was already an excuse to get him out of the house. The most difficult part would be to keep him from checking his phone.   
   
Damian had taken care of that, too, however.   
   
“Wait. You volunteered him for  _dog-washing duty_?” Tim asked, his laugh echoing down the hall.   
   
Damian scowled and punched him in the shoulder.   
   
“Would you keep your voice down? There’s no way he would leave his phone at home, so the next best option was to keep his hands so busy he won’t be able to use it.”   
   
Tim smothered another laugh.   
   
“That’s... a great idea, actually. I should have everything taken care of by the time you’re done with that.”   
   
Damian glanced behind Tim, relaxing when he saw the door to Bruce’s study was still closed.   
   
“Do you really think this scheme of yours will work?”   
   
Tim shrugged and looked down at his phone, tapping out a text to someone.   
   
“Well, patrol routes for both tomorrow night and New Year’s Eve are already taken care of. I just need some time to clear his schedule at the office on New Year's Eve.”   
   
“And Lucius?”   
   
Tim grinned as he slid his phone back in his pocket.   
   
“Lucius is totally on board and is helping me move Bruce’s meetings to my calendar. Whatever meetings I can’t get to, Lucius will attend in my place.”   
   
Damian looked back once more at still-closed door of the study.   
   
“One last question.”   
   
Tim nodded.   
   
“If everything is nearly finished, why do you need my help to keep him occupied?”   
   
“I need him to stay away from his phone for a while. I’m temporarily revoking his access to my and Lucius’s calendars until after the New Year. But until that’s taken care of, I can’t risk him noticing what I’m up to and putting a stop to it.”   
   
“And Selena is aware of this?”   
   
“Yeah. Once I told her what we were doing on our end, she was more than happy to make plans for the two of them.”   
   
Damian noticed Tim's use of the word 'we' but said nothing. At that moment, the door the study opened, and Bruce walked out into the hallway. He saw Tim and Damian talking and smiled.   
   
“What are you boys up to?”   
   
Damian’s back was still to Bruce and his eyes widened in a rare moment of panic. Tim smiled effortlessly and put a hand a Damian’s shoulder.   
   
“Just reminding Damian to put some cookies out for Santa tomorrow night.”   
   
Damian rolled his eyes at the mention of Santa and played along, relieved he didn’t have to come up with an excuse for why they were voluntarily talking to each other.   
   
“Like that man needs more sugar,” he muttered, just loud enough for Bruce to hear. “I’m tempted just to set out the carrots for his reindeer and skip the cookies.”   
   
“I’m sure Alfred is in agreement with you on that one, Damian, but that’s the tradition.” Bruce ruffled Damian’s hair as he passed. “Are you ready to go?”   
   
“Yes. I was just going to get my coat.”   
   
“Good. I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes.”   
   
Tim continued down the hall toward his room and gave Damian a thumbs-up, mouthing ‘thank you’ as he went. Damian nodded and turned to follow Bruce down the stairs. Between the event at the humane society and the likelihood of everyone getting ready for patrol the instant they got home, Damian was sure Tim had plenty of time to finish his plan.   
   
In the meantime, he would do his best to keep Father from checking his phone at all.

   
Thankfully, whatever worries Damian had about keeping Bruce occupied disappeared the moment they arrived at the Gotham Human Society. The room where they did the grooming was full of activity- volunteers were rushing around to gather supplies, groomers were readying their tools and the dogs were barking at all the people. Damian could hardly contain his excitement.   
   
Bruce, on the other hand, wished he’d taken something for the headache he’d likely have when they were done. But seeing Damian so happy and in his element was worth whatever headache he got.   
   
“Alright, Damian, where do you want me?”   
   
Damian nodded toward two enormous stainless-steel sinks.   
   
“We’re over there. Once we’re set up, they’ll start bringing the dogs in.”   
   
He led Bruce to the sinks and showed him where the shampoos were, which to use for which dogs, and the easiest way to keep himself relatively soap-free. Once he was satisfied, they were ready, he called to a woman named Mindy to bring in the first two candidates. Damian grinned when she returned with Frank and Lola. Frank was a drooling Mastiff mix and Lola was a lovable, but very furry Bernadoodle.   
   
“Well, Father? Which one do you want?”   
   
“I’ll take Frank.”   
   
“Good luck,” Damian muttered with a devilish grin.   
   
“What’s that look for?”   
   
“You’ll find out soon enough.” 

* * *

Three hours, eighteen dogs and one soggy pair of boots later, Bruce sighed and collapsed against the backseat as Damian climbed in the other side, tapping out a text on his phone. Alfred chuckled from the front seat.   
   
“How did it go, Master Damian?”   
   
“Every dog went home with a family tonight,” he replied, a tired but happy smile on his face.   
   
“That’s wonderful news!” Alfred glanced at Bruce. “Isn’t it, Master Bruce?”   
   
Bruce met Alfred’s gaze in the mirror and nodded.   
   
“It was fun, but I’m not sure it was worth the wet feet and getting dog hair all over my clothes,” he teased. Damian rolled his eyes.   
   
“Tt. That’s because you’re an amateur.”   
   
Damian felt his phone buzz with an incoming text and glanced at the screen. It was a reply from Tim.   
   
 _Almost done. Don’t let him near his phone yet._    
   
He looked up at Bruce in time to see him reach into his pocket. He had to find a way to distract him and quickly.   
   
“Father?”   
   
Bruce pulled his hand out of his pocket and turned toward Damian.

“Yes?”

“Can we stop for hot chocolate somewhere? To celebrate?”   
   
Alfred and Bruce locked eyes and Alfred winked.   
   
“Of course. Where would you like to go?”   
   
Damian checked the map on his phone, looking for a place that would give Tim enough time to finish whatever he was doing. He chose a cafe just across the river from the Manor. It wasn't far out of their way, but it was far enough from the major roadways it should slow them down sufficiently. And the reception in that area was atrocious due to the on-going construction of new cell towers. It was as close to a dead zone as one could get.   
   
It was perfect.   
   
“How about that little café in Newtown?”   
   
Bruce shook his head and grinned.   
   
“The one with the pet store across the street?”   
   
Damian nodded.   
   
“I think Titus, Batcow and Alfred the cat are enough.”   
   
“I agree. It’s just for hot chocolate, though. Not another pet.”   
   
“Alright. Alfred, do you know where we’re headed?”   
   
Alfred nodded and turned off the highway.   
   
“Indeed I do, Master Bruce.”   
   
Just before they entered the dead zone, Damian fired off one last text to Tim.   
   
 _You’ve got 30 minutes, max. You’re welcome._    
   
Damian congratulated himself when Bruce pulled out his phone moments later and frowned at the lack of signal. If anyone ever asked him if he enjoyed himself in that moment, he would most certainly lie through his teeth.   
   
But this scheme of Tim's was dangerously close to being fun. 

* * *

The moment they got home Bruce went upstairs to change into dry clothes. Damian immediately went looking for Tim and found him in the kitchen talking to Dick. Dick’s expression brightened the moment he spotted Damian and he held out his arms.   
   
“Hey, Damian. How’d the adoption event go?”   
   
Damian leaned in for the hug, not particularly minding being squished against Dick’s side.   
   
“It went well. All the dogs found new homes.”   
   
Damian looked up at Tim from beneath Dick’s arm.   
   
“Did you finish what you were working on?”   
   
Tim grinned and lifted his hand. Damian reached up and gave him an awkward high-five.   
   
“Yeah, thanks! His entire calendar for December 31st is clear now and hopefully the fake one I made fools him long enough until we open gifts tomorrow night.”   
   
Dick looked at Tim, then down at Damian. He grinned as it dawned on him the two of them were partners on this.   
   
“Wait. You two are working together on this?”   
   
Before Damian could answer, Tim spoke up.   
   
“It was his idea. I was struggling to find a gift for Bruce and Damian suggested I do something for him instead. He’s been instrumental in buying me time to get this done.”   
   
Damian felt his ears grow hot and he averted his gaze to the floor.   
   
“It wasn’t a big deal.”   
   
“My plan would have been ruined had you not taken a detour tonight. It was a genius move.”   
   
Damian felt himself smile as Dick squeezed him again.   
   
“I thought so, too.”   
   
Dick turned and tugged Damian along with him.   
   
“Come on, you two. You need to tell me more about this plan while we get ready for patrol.”   
   
Tim followed right behind them.   
   
“And I want to know what it was like watching him bathe dogs for three hours.”   
   
“I think he got just as wet as the dogs did, to be honest,” Damian said, trying not to laugh too loudly. “The only thing that was dry when we left was his coat.”   
   
Their laughter followed them down the hallway as they headed down to the cave.   
   
As Alfred entered the kitchen behind them to prepare some snacks for them before patrol, he smiled to himself. Moments like that were his favorite part of the holiday. The Manor felt more like a home when his grandchildren were there. And when those who usually fought were in cahoots together to plan a gift for their father, it made him that much happier.   
   
He'd never let on he'd known all along what was happening, of course.

* * *

Damian was wrapping the last of his gifts the next afternoon on the floor of his bedroom. There was a small pile next to his bed and each was wrapped beautifully in shiny paper with elaborate bows and ribbons. Tim stood off to the side and watched in amazement.   
   
"I wish I'd asked you to wrap my stuff. Mine look like a three-year-old tried to wrap them."   
   
Damian shrugged and held a piece of green ribbon between his thumb and the scissors, slowly pulling it the length of ribbon along the blade. When he let go, the now-curled ribbon bounced, catching Alfred's attention and he batted at it. With a sigh, he let Alfred have it and curled a second piece.   
   
"This isn't that hard, Drake. You struggle year after year with it, no matter how many times I offer to help."   
   
Dick appeared in the doorway and came up behind Tim, resting an arm on Tim's shoulder.   
   
"Timmy, do you still need gifts wrapped?"   
   
Tim smiled sheepishly.   
   
"I was hoping you'd ask."   
   
Dick rolled his eyes and was preparing to drag Tim back to his room when Bruce entered, frowning at his phone.   
   
"Tim, can I have you look at something?"   
   
Both Damian and Tim glanced at each other nervously before looking at Bruce.   
   
"Uh, sure, Bruce. What's up?"   
   
"There's something wrong with my work calendar. I'm trying to edit something, but it's not working properly."   
   
Dick stifled a smile and knelt next to Alfred, dangling the ribbon above his head.   
   
"Here, let me see it."   
   
Tim puttered with Bruce's phone, frowning and acting completely perplexed by the problem.   
   
"Do you mind if I borrow this? I'll call Lucius and see if he's having any trouble on his end."   
   
"Sure, that's fine. I'll come along."   
   
Damian shot Dick a slightly panicked look, who merely shook his head in return.   
   
"Hey, Bruce? Do you need me to wrap any gifts? Damian's about done here, and I think Tim finished his already."   
   
Bruce laughed, turning back to Dick and Damian as Tim darted out the door.   
   
"No, I had Selena help me. But I could use your help with bringing everything downstairs to put under the tree."   
   
"Sure thing," Dick said with a smile. He winked at Damian as he stood up and turned to Bruce. "Lead the way, Santa!"   
   
Bruce hooked an arm around Dick's neck and ruffled his hair. Dick craned his neck to turn and look at Damian, who nodded in gratitude. Dick managed to stick his tongue out before Bruce pulled him out the door.

Damian heaved a sigh and continued wrapping the remaining two gifts.   
   
"It's a good thing we open gifts tonight, Alfred. This surprise wouldn't have survived another day."   
   
Alfred meowed in reply and dragged the length of curled ribbon onto Damian's bed where he continued to play with it. 

* * *

That evening as they all sat around the tree with their gifts, Tim quietly approached Bruce and held out his phone.   
   
"I fixed your calendar."   
   
Bruce smiled and hugged Tim to his side.   
   
"Thanks, Tim. I really appreciate it."   
   
Tim and Damian made eye contact while Bruce pulled up his calendar, surprised to find it was empty. His gaze went from the empty calendar to Damian, who was staring a little too intently at the exchange between Bruce and Tim, then up to Tim, who was wearing a smug, satisfied grin.   
   
He shook his head and chuckled.   
   
"Damian, can you come here for a moment?"   
   
Damian carefully set down the new box of art supplies he was sorting through and tiptoed through mountains of wrapping paper and empty boxes until he was standing in front of Bruce.   
   
"Did our little cocoa detour last night have anything to do with this?"   
   
"With what?" Damian asked innocently.   
   
Bruce reached out and tugged Damian toward him, pulling him into his lap and squishing him. Damian squirmed and tried his hardest not to smile as Bruce started to tickle him.   
   
"I refuse to admit anything," he said breathlessly as he continued struggle. "You'll never get it out of me."   
   
Bruce let go of Damian and settled him into his lap while glancing up at Tim.   
   
"You cleared my work calendar for the thirty-first. Something tells me I won't have anything to do that evening, either."   
   
"Oh, you'll have plans that night, I'm sure. I left that to someone else."   
   
The three of them glanced over at Selena, who was sitting next to Steph as they discussed which of Steph's new board games they had to play first.   
   
"You, too?" Bruce asked, shaking his head in disbelief.   
   
Selena waved and blew him a kiss.   
   
"And who's covering patrol that night?"   
   
Without missing a beat Dick, Damian, Jason and Cass raised their hands.   
   
"Duke and I are on standby, should the need arise," Steph proudly chimed in. "But since we're going out with Tim tonight, we got first dibs to have New Year's Eve off."   
   
Bruce smiled and hugged Damian again before standing and wrapping his arms around Tim.   
   
"Does this mean I'm being made to stay home tonight as well?"   
   
Tim returned the hug and nodded into Bruce's shoulder.   
   
"Indeed, it does. You and Alfred are to stay out of the cave tonight. We have it covered."   
   
Bruce stepped back and rested his hands on Tim's shoulders.   
   
"Thank you, Tim. It must have been a lot of work to coordinate all of that."   
   
Tim shook his head and pointed to Damian.   
   
"It wouldn't have happened without his help, not to mention it was his idea."   
   
Bruce's eyes widened as he looked at Damian for confirmation. Damian was blushing like mad and staring at a scrap of wrapping paper he held in his hands.   
   
"Thank you, Damian, for helping with this. A night in will really do me some good."   
   
"You're welcome, Father. Merry Christmas."   
   
"Merry Christmas, boys."   
   
Bruce shook his head in disbelief once again before moving to sit next to Selena. Tim and Damian watched the two of them, surprised at how easily Bruce accepted the nights off.   
   
"I did  _not_  expect that to go as well as it did," Tim muttered. Damian nodded in agreement before handing Tim a gift that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.   
   
"Here," he said quietly. "This one is for you."   
   
Tim grinned and plucked the last gift from beneath the tree.   
   
"And this one's for you. Merry Christmas, Damian."   
   
Damian didn't try to hide the smile he felt tugging at the corners of his mouth.   
   
"Merry Christmas, Drake."   
   
"On the count of three, we open. One."   
   
"Two."   
   
"THREE!"


End file.
